"Fuck this shit o'clock"

I am starting to understand this possible change I am going through mid-life. What a taxing cliche this write-up will be.  Mid-life...blllaaahhh. It's not all bad when I hit the age 40; there was something that sprang back to life inside and I knew good things were to come in my personal growth. This pestering feeling hit somewhere in late 2012, right before the 'unit' died.  I could not tell my mother I was sick and tired of my job that would not be accepted or comprehended by her royal ears. In years past I have always been self-reliant and never a burden to anyone's pocket, not even to a significant other. Managing my money well and understanding the financial sector, and how it worked, I never thought I would have to struggle in the future.  Somehow it seems that now all that has changed given my attitude towards money.  It's not going anywhere...money.  I don't care how much someone will talk til they're blue in the face, sorry.  In dealing with complete nutters on-line, people you may befriend, I will never forget this one freak who infiltrated the "8th House Room" named Robert Buser. This individual attempted to coin himself as a financial expert and well, I have to say on his part, bad mistake.  In needing to give you some background on my finding of this paranoid money troll, I held my series 7 and 63 while I worked for Conglom-O company in my mid-twenties.  This career lasted for six years.
 
Anyway, this Buser troll would get into sidebar conversations about markets crashing, commodities becoming obsolete, and bonds dumping.  I finally had to stop him in his ignorant tracks due to the fact he gave me some ridiculous warning in October of 2013. In short, Mr. Buser was some sort of scare monger dolt.  Money is money, and it's all about gambling and timing.  Plain and simple.  You watch trends, tune into political banter around the world, quantify trading behavior, boom--you now have a possible formula for a "win ticket."  The art is not in making money but keeping it.  There are some who would say this is the downfall of the current times and attitudes that are tied to such markets.  Don't get me wrong, there have been slime balls in ALL works of life, but greed will breed many things even in the spiritual community. I don't even want to go there with all the hacks and fuzzy bullshit floating around--another time, another blob.

Now that you have a small understanding of how and why money will no longer plays a part in my life, I can proceed to "fuck this shit o'clock."  In dealing with my working life, and don't get me wrong I love my job, but the idea of throwing away my other talents has weighed on my head since mid-2012.  Now that it's mid 2014 and obviously I have ignored my needs, this resentment is building.  One day is good, next three days horrific. This is not good at all. Who the hell wants to subject themselves to a bunch of retards dying to be adored by people with sociopath tendencies?  Thankfully, I am in a position which is a bit renegade and innovative, so I don't necessarily take orders, although that right there is a lie because we all to some degree are taking direction from someone.  Even if you are self-employed, your ass be selling to someone. Just saying.

I envision one day, the getting up scenario and walking out.  Simply stating, "You know, I think I'm done now," smile and leave. I'm smart enough to leave shit half done, putting in a little effort, and it still turn out beyond expectation. As I look back on the years, why I ever put in 24-hour support is beyond me.  Knowing myself this leads me to think it's just integrity. Stay tuned for the walkout.  I believe this will be one very funny episode.  In my life, what's not to laugh about? Money is simply freedom to move about.  That's all.